A LIFE TORN
by ULYFERAL
Summary: A trauma in the past now torments a depressed Commander Feral. Will he ever get his life back or does he even want to? AU
1. Chapter 1

**A LIFE TORN**

Chapter 1: It All Falls Apart

He couldn't stand it anymore. Day after day after day of intense loneliness. The darkness of his soul was swallowing any tiny shred of joy he attempted to harbor. The career he used to hide his pain no longer did. All he had was anger and emptiness. It seemed so easy to accomplish. His job was soo dangerous, a deliberate miscalculation could put an end to his pain but it never seemed to work out. So here he was again and the pain was even greater. A bottle or two seemed to deaden it some. Sleep was a dead dream followed by a groggy morning. Called in to say he was sick...lied for the first time...a bottle to nurse and oblivion to find...that was his day's agenda.

_The day before..._

Another criminal bit the dust. He should be satisfied and concentrating on the work to do in the garage. Instead what had happened less than an hour ago, disturbed him and wouldn't let him be. He couldn't articulate what it was that bothered him. Sighing, Razor finally set it aside and stripped with his partner for his work coveralls. He knew that whatever it was that troubled him would sort itself out later in the back of his mind.

It was the next morning when it came to him. Horrified he was right, he went and shook his still sleeping partner awake.

"Chance, wake up! Damn it buddy, wake up!" Jake said anxiously as he yanked and pulled at his partner.

"Huh! Whazzup?" Chance said groggily staring up at his upset friend.

"Come on wake up! I've got to talk to you and I don't think there's much time." Jake said urgently.

Startled by the fear in his partner's voice, Chance shook the cobwebs from his mind and sat up. "Okay, I'm awake. What's wrong? Why are you so upset?"

"Yesterday's action with Hard Drive had me thinking something was wrong but I couldn't put a finger on it so let my mind work on it overnight. Well, it came to me finally. Remember when we were just young enforcers and one of our group committed suicide? It turned out he was soo lonely and isolated that he couldn't handle it any more and ended his life by friendly fire." Jake asked his buddy.

"Yeah! How could I forget? We didn't see it coming." Chance said quietly.

"I know. That's when we received that lecture on how to spot this kind of behavior amongst our fellow officers. Well I just witnessed that behavior but because of who it was I didn't want to believe it. However, when I thought back on the other times recently and realized what I was seeing I couldn't ignore it or pretend it wasn't so. I think this kat is going to try again today. His pain is soo bad and no one has noticed. I'm nearly certain the failure to succeed yesterday will push him over the edge today. We've got to go see him and be sure he's okay even if he hates us even more for it." Jake said urgently.

Frowning at his partner, Chance asked, "Who are you talking about? I don't remember seeing anyone showing those symptoms?"

"It's Feral, Chance." Jake said grimly.

Shock rocked Chance back a moment. "Oh now wait a minute...Feral?...Come on Jake, no way!"

"Think a minute, Chance. The time with Viper, how he deliberately got in the way and nearly got skewered by that mutation, or the next time he flew his chopper directly in the way of that bolt of energy from the Metallikats, and finally yesterday, when he walked right up to Dark Kat and was almost bisected by dark crud's laser. Each time you or I pulled him away at the last second. Yesterday, however, he nearly went berserk at you for saving him. He wasn't furious because we interfered it was because we kept him from dying." Jake said tightly.

Chance sat there in shock as he ran those incidents again in his mind. Seeing it the way Jake had he could indeed see the indicators they had been warned to watch for. Though he didn't want to think about it, he also realized that Feral never seemed to be attached to anyone. He always appeared alone. Another marker of a depressed individual. Easy to anger, very rarely happy were other indicators. And yesterday's incident...oh God!...Jake was right they might already be too late. He jerked up from the bed and made for their secret entrance.

"Come on Jake. If you're right, we may already be too late." Chance was down the ladder and dressing in minutes. Jake was pulling his G-suit on quickly and the two of them raced for the Turbokat.

"We don't know where he lives and I don't want to waste time trying to get the enforcers to cough it up." T-Bone said anxiously as he took the jet out into the sky.

"I'm certain Ms. Briggs knows but this is too sensitive to say over the radio so we have to go see her. She should be just getting to work and she should know about this anyway." Razor told him.

"Right, City Hall then." T-Bone acknowledged and headed the jet in that direction. Within minutes they were landing on the landing pad behind the clock tower. They raced down the staircase to Callie's office. Their timing had been good, Ms. Briggs had just arrived and was taking her coat off when they came in and closed the door behind them.

"SWAT Kats?! What brings you here?" She asked in surprise.

"Ms. Briggs, we don't have much time so please listen carefully." Razor said urgently and quickly told her of his suspicions and his evidence to back it up.

Callie gaped at him in shock. She sat down heavily and ran over what Razor had said and her own observations. She realized he could be right and was horrified. "I'm going with you. You might need me. Let's go! I'll tell you on the way where he lives." She said decisively, getting up and grabbing her coat and purse. The SWAT Kats followed her as they hurried back up to the Turbokat.

Sitting next to Razor, wearing a spare helmet, she told them how to get to Feral's home. It was an anxious few minutes as T-Bone guided the jet to Feral's apartment building.

"T-Bone go high. We don't want Feral to hear us yet." Razor warned.

"Right." T-Bone answered and took the jet up a distance above the apartment building and went to VTOL mode. Razor used his X-ray machine to scan the building.

"Oh my God!" He hissed in horror. "He's on the ledge outside a sixth floor window, probably his apartment. Crud, T-Bone we dare not get too close or he'll jump or fall off. Nothing I have will be able to pluck him off without him trying to avoid it. I could try to catch him as he falls but I'd really rather not have to." Razor said troubled and at a loss as to what to do next.

"Take me down. Let me try to talk him in." Callie said grimly.

"Okay, he certainly wouldn't listen to either of us." T-Bone acknowledged the wisdom of her request. He took the jet down slowly and made sure he was over the opposite side Feral was clinging to. Razor helped Callie out and went with her to Feral's apartment. It was locked and Razor used his glovetrix to open it. "Good luck, Ms. Briggs. I'll get back to the jet. If we have to, we'll catch him in a net." Razor whispered to her. She nodded and slipped into the apartment.

Her heart in her throat, she quickly moved through the silent apartment till she reached the open window in his bedroom. She saw empty alcohol bottles near the bed. She hoped he'd listen to her. Carefully, she leaned a little out the window so that she could see which side of the ledge he was on. She found him a few feet to the right. He was huddled up and clutching another bottle. His eyes were closed and he was rocking silently. The rocking frightened her, the ledge just wasn't that wide and each rock had the Commander leaning out into space.

Shaking inside, she gathered her courage and gently spoke to the distraught kat. "Ulysses? Can you hear me?" She thought his first name might reach him than saying his rank. "Please, Ulysses, talk to me. It's Callie. I want to help you." She pleaded.

He didn't acknowledge her. Callie didn't know that he was already lost inside himself and was no longer hearing anything. He raised the bottle to his mouth and discovered, foggily, that it was empty. He dropped it and watched it fall and smash on the sidewalk below. He was so dead inside that he didn't react to its impact or the distance it took to get there. Only a blank fascination was left and the single thought of following the bottle down. He leaned forward and fell. He made no sound and wasn't even aware any longer when the SWAT Kats caught him. Winching him up to the cargo hold Razor pulled him aboard and gently untangled the unconscious Commander from the netting as T-Bone went back down to retrieve a badly shaken Callie.

They took him to Megakat General where they met with a psychiatrist. They told him what they knew and suspected. Callie gave her observations of his prior behavior and what she'd witnessed on the ledge. The psychiatrist thanked them and said it may be a while before Feral would be talking. He said that Feral was completely withdrawn but that drugs and therapy should help him come back but he couldn't say when that would be. Callie thanked him and had the SWAT Kats returned her to her office.

On the roof of City Hall, Callie stood, still numb about what had just happened. "Thank you for saving his life, though he might not be happy you did. I'm going to have to tell Lt. Feral about her uncle and you two will have to do a little more extra patrolling due to his absence." She said pleased her voice was steady even if she didn't feel that way.

"Sure no problem, Ms. Briggs. We kinda guessed that we'd have to anyway. Felina is going to be very upset by this though." T-Bone said quietly.

"Yes, I know. She may have suspected her uncle was in trouble but like the rest of us we just couldn't believe it so didn't allow ourselves to see it until it was nearly too late." Callie said unhappily. "I'm not looking forward to telling the Mayor, either."

T-Bone and Razor grimaced in sympathy then waved good bye as they hopped aboard their jet and went home.

Later that morning, Callie took Felina aside and told her of the morning's events. Felina was shocked and upset. This would affect the morale of the enforcers if word got out. She and Callie decided to release a public statement that Commander Feral was very ill and had been hospitalized but not for what reason. Only the second in command, Felina, Callie and the Mayor would know the true story.

Felina tried to go see her uncle but was informed that he was still withdrawn and not speaking. She spoke at length with her uncle's assigned psychiatrist. She left in anguish. Dr. Woodard said this kind of depression usually occurred because of an unresolved trauma in the patient's past. He'd asked her if she knew of anything that had happened to her uncle when he was young or during his time as an enforcer but she didn't know of any. She promised to ask her father about her uncle's childhood.

It was a sad Felina Feral that confronted her father that evening at her family home. She hadn't been home since last summer. She left work early and hit the road reaching her destination by late evening. Her parents were surprised to see her. Sharing coffee at the kitchen table, she bluntly told them what had happened. Her father was shocked and anguished. Her mother was surprised and looked to her husband for answers.

"The only incident I can think of was when Ulysses was sixteen. He'd been set upon by a group of thugs. He was beaten pretty severely. He managed to drag himself home and our parents rushed him to the hospital. He wouldn't talk very much about what happened and my parents didn't see a need to get him counseling. Uly never talked about that day but I could see him changing. He became harder and more focused on his goals. He didn't make very many friends and even those he cut off when he enlisted in the enforcers. This just doesn't make sense." Her father said in frustration.

"It does if something more actually happened during that attack, Dad." Felina said grimly. "Unfortunately, the only one who knows is Uncle Ulysses." She sighed and looked down at her cup. "Well, I can at least tell Dr. Woodard about this and see if he can get Uncle Ulysses to tell him more."

"I hope so. Poor Uly! He's never been very happy and now this." Her father shook his head sadly.

After hugging her parents good bye, Felina returned to the city the next morning. After calling in that she would be a little late reporting, she went to see Dr. Woodard. She relayed the information she'd obtained from her father. He thanked her and said it should be helpful with her uncle's case. She left for work and prayed that her uncle would recover soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**A LIFE TORN**

Chapter 2: Unraveling the Past

Some days after his fall from the ledge, Ulysses Feral blinked awake and studied his surroundings. He wasn't in his apartment bedroom, he noticed first. The room he was in was padded wall to wall and floor. He was laying on the floor dressed in a loose outfit of blue. He pushed himself up to a sitting position. He knew exactly where he was but instead of being angry he felt nothing. That was even scarier. He sat silently trying to process everything logically.

Point one, he'd failed again. Point two, someone had rescued him. Point three, he had been brought to Megakat General and was now in its psychiatric ward. Point four, he felt numb, sort of like a computer with no emotions. He couldn't feel anger or panic or fear...nothing.

The door to his cell opened. He looked up but didn't react to the entry of a quiet Himalayan male who walked closer to him and nodded to someone outside to close the door. It closed with a muffled thump. The doctor, he was certain that was who it was, dropped to a seated position and eyed him calmly.

"Hello, Commander. I'm Dr. Woodard. I'm in charge of your care. How are you feeling?" He asked.

Feral just stared at the doctor for a long moment. The doctor stared back quietly, patiently waiting for Feral to be willing to speak.

"I don't know. I'm empty of all emotions right now. I should be feeling angry or upset in some way but I feel nothing." He said in a flat voice.

"That's not surprising. We had to use some very potent antidepressants on you to get you to respond even this much. It has the tendency to deaden feelings. Don't let it disturb you. It's better that you don't feel anything yet. It will help you stay calm as we talk about your past and what it is you've been hiding from yourself. Whatever it is has nearly taken your life. I can help you. Drawing the episode out of the dark will help you face it and conquer it so it can no longer hurt you." Dr. Woodard said gently.

Again, Feral sat silent and said nothing. "I've spoken to your family and I'd like to ask you about an incident that happened to you when you were sixteen. You told your family you were beaten by a group of thugs. Was that all that happened?" Dr. Woodard asked watching for any reaction from Feral.

Feral froze and nearly stopped breathing. 'Why would he ask that. No won't talk about it. It's over and done with... not important now.' His mind gibbered to itself, retreating frantically. He began scooting away slowly toward a wall feeling trapped.

Dr. Woodard was not happy but not surprised at the sudden retreat he saw in Feral's eyes and posture. "Alright, take it easy. This subject is obviously the root of your problem but we'll let it be for now. Are you willing to talk about your attempts at suicide?" Dr. Woodard ask gently trying to guide Feral away from the painful memory to the most recent incident.

Unfortunately, the response was the same...retreat. Sighing, Dr. Woodard climbed to his feet and went to the door and signaled it to be opened. Looking back at his patient who was now tightly curled into a ball in the corner he said quietly, "Rest Commander, we'll talk more later."

Outside the patient's room, Dr. Woodard turned to a nurse waiting nearby. "Give him a half dosage of the hydroxyzine and monitor him for nightmares. His problem is deeply buried and its going to be really messy getting it out. I'm putting a tentative diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in his chart."

"He's tried to end his life four times, Dr. Woodard. I would suspect the trauma was one of the really bad ones." She said sadly.

"I'm afraid you may be right, Lolita. He's also a very strong individual with an indomitable will. He's going to be a very tough nut to crack and even harder to cure." Dr. Woodard sighed worriedly. He needed more information on Feral's past and his patient would not be very forthcoming. He had only one option.

The next day he contacted Feral's niece. Felina came to see him in his office later that day.

"Thank you for coming to see me, Lt." Dr. Woodard said warmly gesturing her to sit as he took a seat next to her.

"If it will help my uncle, I'm happy to do whatever I can for you, doctor." Felina said firmly.

"Your uncle obviously suffered much more than a simple beating, Lt., but he only retreats more when I try to get him to open up about it. My only option now is to see if we can find out what happened that day. I know it's a lot to ask when the incident is so very long ago, but I'm at a loss at what else to do. Other methods are much harsher and don't have a guarantee they'll work and could do more harm. I need something to pry open Feral's shell with or he'll remained locked up inside his head for life." Dr. Woodard said in concern.

"You're right about it being difficult. Trying to find out information that old will be almost impossible but I'll give it a try. I have my sources. I'll get right on it. The Deputy Mayor may even have sources I don't. Either way we'll do our best. I'll get back to you as soon as I can." Felina said as she rose to leave.

"Thank you, Lt. I wish you good luck in your search." Dr. Woodard said as he saw her out.

To her surprise, working together with Ms. Briggs they did indeed manage to find out more than they had expected. What they had uncovered had left them shaken badly but it explained so very much. She found out her uncle had been gang raped, the beating was totally incidental and happened only to restrain the frantic teen from escaping their clutches until they were done. Most of the gang were dead now but they had found two still alive and serving life sentences at Alkatraz Prison. With this information, Dr. Woodard was finally able to proceed with Feral's treatment. Feral didn't make it easy though. He fought every inch of the way.

It took a week to coax the Commander to admit the problem was the gang rape and his trying to bury it in his mind, another week to get him to talk about it. Once that bridge had been reached the nightmares and flashbacks began in earnest and were very brutal. He lost count of the number of times he woke screaming and fighting, the number of times he was drugged to allow him much needed sleep.

He really didn't know how much time had passed. The drug for his PTSD had been reduced so he could feel again but muted. It still felt strange, sort of like being in a bubble but Dr. Woodard said he needed the protection from the power his trauma could still hold over him. He was finally permitted to leave the hospital but had to return twice weekly for therapy. His therapist was a gentle female named Katrina Smoothstone. Her non-judgmental manner and way of letting him talk without interruption made it easier for him to feel comfortable with her even when discussing very personal matters.

Returning to work after being gone more than two months was a little intimidating until he was told that no one knew what he had been hospitalized for except for a tiny handful of kats. He was very grateful for that and went back to work with a calmer mind. He quickly brought himself up to date, thanked his second for his able management of the Chief Enforcement Office in his absence and was able to face Felina despite her knowing what had happened to him. His talk with Ms. Briggs was a little more strained. She came to talk to him when he'd been back a few days.

"Hello, Commander. It's good to see you back." Callie said in real relief. He looked much better now than when she'd last seen him.

"Thank you, Ms. Briggs." He said uncomfortably. He didn't really know what to say to her.

"I'm sorry Commander, I'm making you a little uneasy. Please, it's alright. I've told no one what Felina and I found out except your doctor. The Mayor knows you are being treated for PTSD and that is all he knows about it and I intend to keep it that way. You are seeing a therapist right now, correct?" She asked quietly.

"Yes. I see her twice a week and they have me on a mild antidepressant." Feral said relieved at her discretion on his behalf.

"Good. You look much better. That's all I really wanted to say and to assure you that we are all glad to see you back." Callie smiled warmly preparing to leave.

"Ms. Briggs?" Feral stopped her.

"Yes, Commander?" Callie asked turning back to him.

"The SWAT Kats...I heard they were involved...could you tell me what happened that day I...you know?" He asked nervously not able to look at her directly.

Understanding but not really happy to talk about that terrible day, she gave the facts bluntly without embellishment to make it easier for him. "On the day in question, the SWAT Kats came to me. They were upset. Apparently, Razor recognized the symptoms you displayed and surmised you might try again. They needed me to tell them where you lived and I decided to go with them. I'd hoped to be able to get you to listen to me. When we got to your apartment, Razor's instruments showed you were already on the ledge outside your apartment window. They were afraid to try and pluck you off so I volunteered to try and get you back inside. Unfortunately, you were no longer hearing anyone. You dropped a bottle to the ground and watched it smash and then leaned off to follow it. The SWAT Kats caught you in a net. You weren't conscious when we took you to the hospital. I contacted Felina and spoke to her in private. We didn't use radios or phones so that your privacy would be kept. It was Felina who notified your second and I notified the Mayor. We tried to keep the number of kats who knew the true circumstances about your condition to a minimum." She finished quietly.

Feral's mouth had gone dry at her description of his behavior. His stomach clenched and his breathing quickened.

Callie noticed that Feral had gone quite pale. "Commander, are you alright?" She asked worried.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he answered hoarsely, "I'll be alright. I just have to get past the reason I did it." He said carefully.

"I understand. Take all the time you need. I'll leave you to get back to work." She smiled encouragingly at him as she turned and left.

He dashed to the bathroom as soon as she was gone and threw up. Trembling with reaction, he washed out his mouth and splashed water on his face. He stood there a moment letting the water drip from his fur as he hung his head. He had the SWAT Kats to thank for his life. He didn't know if he should be grateful or angry. It exhausted him to even think about it now. Katrina had warned him that his worst habit was burying his emotional problems rather than deal with them head on. She was trying to retrain him to accept that he had emotions and how to deal with them. Sighing he dried his face and returned to his desk. He would discuss with Katrina on how best to deal with the SWAT Kats.

Two days later...evening time...a gay club on the lower eastside of town...

He looked around nervously. He didn't really want to be here. The club was recommended by Katrina as a good place to meet others like himself. Another problem of his was isolating himself due to his sexual preference. He'd firmly denied he was gay despite the fact he very much was so this was her way to get him to accept himself. Surrounded by males only made him tense but he promised himself he would stay for at least an hour before ducking out. He really didn't think he could handle any longer than that.

Watching the big tom from across the room, Forry could see the poor guy was nervous. He was handsome and powerfully built but he really wasn't Forry's type but something about this guy attracted him. Making a decision, he wandered over to the dark tom.

"Hello, my names Forry. I've never seen you here before." Forry asked smiling warmly.

The tom turned toward him and Forry gasped. He knew this face. The huge kat eyed him warily but answered gruffly, "Never been here before. Thought I check it out."

Forry almost couldn't get his voice to work. This was Commander Feral, he was sure of it. He'd seen him around the court house often. What was he doing here? He never dreamed he was gay. Realizing he was just staring at Feral, he swallowed and said quickly, "I'm surprised to see you here. I recognize you from work. Never thought you were gay though. It's a pleasant surprise." He laughed nervously.

Feral started in surprise, "You know me? I don't think we've ever met before. Where do you work?"

"Oh, I didn't mean we've met formally. I've just seen you around the court house. I'm a lawyer." Forry said.

"Oh, okay that makes sense. What kind are you?" Feral said a bit surprised at learning the first gay he meets is a lawyer.

"I handle gay rights issues, do pro bono work for the Gay Rights Coalition, and act as an advocate for those charged with a crime who are gay." Forry said matter-of-factly.

"Impressive. Must keep you very busy?" Feral said fascinated in spite of himself. This kat was kind of nice and had a pleasant scent. He wasn't hard on the eyes either. He only stood about five ten, two hundred thirty pounds, and was an interesting brown tabby color with black stripes and copper eyes. He was wearing a nice pair of dark blue slacks, a powder blue dress shirt opened at the throat, and a worn pair of brown loafers. As they chatted, Feral found himself relaxing in Forry's company.

Smiling back, Forry answered, "It does a bit. Not nearly as busy as you though. I always thought you very brave. Your job is so very dangerous."

"It can be but it's just a job like any other. We both can get smacked and be given the evil eye equally by an irate customer who didn't like the way we treated them, especially lawyers. " Feral found himself making a joke and pleased when Forry chuckled. It made him feel warm inside. For the next couple of hours they chatted amiably about their jobs and other subjects that they shared an interest in. Before he knew it they were trading phone numbers and promising to get together again soon. Leaving for home he felt happier than he could ever remember. It seemed Katrina had been right, he had needed to get out and meet others and was pleased at his success on his first attempt.

Over the next few weeks, he'd been able to meet with Forry at least once each week and met occasionally for lunch when they were both at court. He really liked the tabby and the feeling was mutual. They hadn't crossed the sexual barrier yet and he was grateful that Forry was in no hurry to. He wanted to be very comfortable with Forry before they did that. He wasn't sure if he should inform his friend of his problems or not say anything. Not sure what to do he asked Katrina's advice on his next appointment.

"Are you lovers?" Katrina asked at their next session.

"No not yet. We're just good friends. I feel very comfortable in his company." Feral said. "He's a good listener and I can blow off steam and he doesn't get angry with me. I'm even able to do the same for him." He said proudly.

Katrina smiled at that, "You have a right to feel proud about that accomplishment, Ulysses. You've come a long way. Forry sounds like a good match for you. As in any relationship, secrets can have a way of ruining it. Professional secrets are a different matter. You both have secrets that the other has no business knowing and have no reason to feel guilty about keeping. However, your PTSD is something you should tell Forry about. You don't have to tell him about the reason it happened unless you choose to but he does need to know that you do have a problem dealing with emotions. If and when you do become lovers the nightmares may appear while you are with him. You won't know until it happens how he will react but if you prepare him he might surprise you and perhaps provide you the comfort you need at those times of serious stress." Katrina told him seriously.

"Okay, I'll think about it. We are still very new to each other and I don't want to scare him off until we've had more time with each other." Feral said quietly.

"Ulysses, we haven't covered this yet but maybe this is the time. Are you afraid to be intimate with Forry?" She asked carefully. This was treacherous ground and needed to be handled with great care.

Startled by the question, Feral had to think about it for minute. He did feel an attraction to Forry and they had kissed a few times now. He really hadn't thought too much about the physical stuff as yet. "I don't know. I don't have any problem with him kissing me and I do feel attracted to him. I just don't know about the rest." He said honestly.

"So far that sounds very promising. What happened to you was not love making but brutal rape. When you experience what is supposed to be the greatest expression of love two kats can have for each other you will know the difference and be able to act accordingly. For now just let things happen as they will." Katrina smiled encouragingly. He felt pretty good at the end of the session.

Things seem to be looking up for him at last.


	3. Chapter 3

**A LIFE TORN**

Chapter 3: A New Love, An Old Fear

It had been a quiet week and he'd just enjoyed a pleasant hour with Forry at their favorite restaurant. By mutual consent, they had gone to his apartment and were now on the roof enjoying the warm night air. It seemed only natural to kiss under the stars. It was a wonderful feeling being held like this, he never wanted it to end.

Above them, on patrol, the SWAT Kats passed nearby. "We're near Feral's apartment building, T-Bone." Razor said casually.

"Do you want a quick look to see how he is?" T-Bone asked as he halted the jet in VTOL mode.

"Well it's been a while. He has seemed much better, what little we've seen of him. It couldn't hurt to make sure." Razor said as he aimed his viewing device toward the appropriate target. "Well, well! He's doing better than we could have ever hoped." Razor smirked.

"What are you seeing?" T-Bone asked burning with curiosity.

"Turn your screen on." Razor snorted to his partner as he continued to watch his own screen.

"Well whatta you know! I wonder who he is? He's a rather handsome looking tom." T-Bone said admiringly.

"Yeah. Well, whoever he is it's obvious Feral likes him a lot." Razor said pleased things had finally worked out for the Commander. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm really happy for the big lug."

"Yeah me too. He deserves a little happiness finally. Let's leave the two lovebirds alone. We've still another hour of patrol to go." T-Bone said easily as he switched the jet to forward motion and headed further into the city skyline.

On the roof, unaware of their departing watchers, the two broke the kiss. "I think a bed is in order rather than a hard roof surface." Forry said huskily hoping he wasn't rushing things.

"Hmm, sounds like a good idea." Feral said more than a little excited himself. Looked like tonight would be the night they crossed the last barrier in their budding relationship and he was a little nervous. He would let Forry lead the way since he was more experienced.

They moved arm in arm toward the stair door and down to his apartment. They met no one on the way, happily. Feral unlocked his door and guided his guest in, turned and relocked the door. They kissed again more deeply with paws caressing as they moved slowly toward Feral's bedroom. Once there they began a mutual striptease and were soon falling to the bed wrapped together.

Rolling, rubbing, kissing, and caressing made Feral hot and tingly. Sensations he'd never experienced before and was enjoying immensely. The stimulation was too much for him though and he came suddenly with a startled cry. He lay under Forry panting in surprised wonder. He felt a hardness near his leg and realized his lover hadn't come.

He felt embarrassed and ashamed. "I'm sorry..." He began.

"Ssh, It's alright. I'm sure its been a long time for you." Forry soothed him gently.

"But, you haven't come yet?" Ulysses protested humiliated.

"It's alright. Let me prove it to you!" Forry insisted and pressed a passionate kiss on his lover halting anymore protests. In minutes his lover had him hot and ready again. Forry moved their bodies into alignment and began a rocking motion that rubbed their cocks together in a mutually pleasurable rhythm. He clung tightly to Forry as the friction increased sending hot sparks of lightning through Ulysses' body. He gasped, "Oh, God, Forry!" Then he was coming again immediately accompanied by Forry's cry of ..."Ulysses!" and the spill of his hot seed between them.

They lay still, panting for some minutes before Ulysses spoke with wonder in his voice. "That was fantastic, Forry."

"You're welcome, Ulysses and I thought so too." Forry smiled and licked his new lover's face tenderly.

Staring up at the first lover he'd ever had he realized just how fortunate he was. "Forry, you are the first kat I've ever been with." He admitted quietly.

Blinking at Uly in surprise, he studied the brown tom a moment. Instead of saying something possibly hurtful like 'you gotta be kidding,' Forry said warmly, "I'm honored to be your first, Ulysses. I care a great deal for you. I'll be happy to teach you all the ways two toms can make love." He promised with a smile.

Ulysses grinned back at him in relief. His heart overjoyed at having found such an understanding lover. They spent the rest of the night exploring each other. Forry felt intercourse could wait a while. There was no hurry and it would give Ulysses time to get used to being intimate. He didn't know why Uly hadn't been sexually active but hoped he would learn the reason with time and patience.

Over the next few weeks they settled into a familiar pattern of intimacy, taking turns at each other's apartments. But too soon, their relationship was about to be tested when Feral had a brutal day at work that would spill over into their time together.

The Metallikats had caused serious havoc when they attempted to rob the treasury train on its way to the mint. The SWAT Kats had halted the Metallikats's rampage before too much damage was done but the train would be out of commission for a few days necessitating the money being transferred by armored vehicles. While they were straightening out the mess and setting up the transfer of the money a grisly find was uncovered in the tunnel.

The brutally beaten body of a young male had been stuffed into a cardboard box. The coroner's preliminary opinion was the body appeared to have been raped as well. An autopsy would be needed to determine that for certain and reason for death.

Feral went pale, his stomach clenched as he had a brief flash of his own trauma . Badly shaken, he stumbled away from the scene. Felina had seen him and quickly moved to his side.

"Uncle, are you alright?" She asked anxiously.

Heaving for breath and control, he shivered. "I have to be!" He said tightly using his iron will to get control of his emotions and firmly shoved aside the images haunting him. He couldn't allow them to interfere with his job.

"Uncle it's alright. I can take this. You would have me handle it anyway. Why don't you take care of the money transfer?" Felina urged him careful to not let anyone over hear their conversation.

"I...you're right, Felina, thank you. Find whoever did that!" He growled turning away from the horrible scene for the line of armored trucks just arriving.

Felina sighed and returned to scene of the brutal slaying. She watched as forensics collected their evidence and then the body was allowed to be taken away. 'What a waste. Who could have done such a terrible thing and will whoever did it make a repeat performance.' She shuddered. Felina sincerely hoped this had been a one time crime of passion. She didn't want to contemplate a serial rapist on the loose.

It was a few hours later by the time Commander Feral was able to return to his office. Closing his door firmly behind him, he hung his coat and made for the bathroom in a hurry. Throwing up for several minutes left him shaking. He went to the sink to rinse his mouth and wash his face. He looked at his image ruefully. He recalled a similar image only a few months ago when Ms. Briggs had described his suicide attempt. Collecting himself, he returned to his desk and firmly put aside the memory of that young kat.

He asked his secretary to get him some tea and settled down to work. He was very grateful he would be with Forry tonight. It seemed the tabby kept the nightmares away. He hoped that would be true tonight.

That evening they shared a carry out meal and quiet conversation. Forry had heard about the event in the subway on the news but wisely didn't bring it up. They retired early and made gentle love for a couple of hours before succumbing to sleep. Just after midnight, Feral's sleep was invaded by the cruel laughs of the punks that had raped him. He moaned and writhed in protest which quickly changed to heart wrenching screams of terror and pain.

Forry jerked awake in shock to the awful sounds of a kitten in pain. Feral was thrashing wildly and his screams were that of a young kat rather than an adult male in his prime. His heart in his throat, Forry desperately tried to calm his lover. He held him against his chest and rocked him while murmuring nonsense words of comfort. It took over ten minutes before the worst was over and he held a limp and sobbing tom. Forry continued to caress the shuddering body in his arms until the exhausted dark tom collapsed into a deep sleep once more.

Tenderly laying his burden down on its pillow, he got up and went to the bathroom to cry and shake in reaction. Clinging to the sink he finally was able to calm himself. 'My God! It was obvious that something truly horrible had happened to his lover when he was very young. It sounded like torture of some kind.' Today's events must have caused a flashback he thought shakily. It would explain the PTSD Uly had told him he had. Sighing tirededly, he washed his face and took a warm cloth back to his lover. Gently he washed the sleeping face, laid the cloth on the night stand and wrapped himself around Uly to offer what comfort he could.

Near dawn, Feral moaned softly and shifted. Forry woke immediately and listened. It didn't sound like Uly was having another nightmare. He decided Uly needed something else to occupy his mind and erase the nights terror. He began laying warm kisses and licking the big tom's neck and shoulders. His paws caressed the broad chest pinching and rolling the nipples between his fingers until they drew up in taut peaks. Uly moaned but this time it was a pleasurable nosie rather than pain. Encouraged, Forry continued his erotic touches. He stroked the hard muscles of his lover's lower abdomen as he reached the object of his mornings exploration. Grasping Uly's cock firmly in his paw he began a slow up and down stroke. The dark tom woke and groaned moving his hips to encourage his lover to greater efforts. But Forry had plans that didn't include getting Uly off so quickly.

When Forry suddenly stopped touching him, Ulysses rolled over to stare at his lover in confusion. Forry smiled "I have something else in mind this morning, my love. I want you to do something for me that you'll enjoy." Getting up on his paws and knees, he instructed his novice lover in the art of rimming and preparing his lover. He'd done some preliminary things with Uly over the past few weeks so it wasn't completely unfamiliar. Smiling wickedly, Ulysses proceeded to follow his lover's instructions to the letter. He was soon rewarded with Forry's moans of pleasure and need.

Panting and hot, Forry quickly had Uly lay down on his back. Uly's erection was jutting proudly from its nest of dark fur weeping with serum. Smiling down at his lover, Forry straddled Uly's hips and slowly and carefully slid the hard cock into his hot channel. Both of them groaning at the wonderful feeling of joining. It was slow going due to Uly's large size but soon he'd taken the whole hard spear within himself. After sitting still a few minutes to get used to the huge cock stretching him to his limit, he began a slow rocking movement. Leaning forward, he traded hot, passionate kisses with Uly.

'Oh God! This was soo good!' He never dreamed intercourse could be this wonderful. He could feel his barbs rubbing Forry's hot channel. The squeezing pressure and friction was driving him out of his mind. Shockwaves of tingling pleasure shot from his feet to his head. Panting he thrust up against Forry's downward movement.

Pressure boiled up from his balls and he couldn't hold back anymore as he came screaming. Forry cried out as he felt Uly swell even bigger before the hot wave filled his cavity. He clenched the hard shaft and Uly moaned even louder as Forry's ass spasmed around him. Forry collapsed onto his lover's chest and moments later moaned as Uly's cock slid out. They lay there heaving for air and glorying in the fantastic afterglow of truly great sex.

"You were great. I never realized how good this could feel." Ulysses sighed nuzzling his lover's face.

"You're very welcome. I thought this might help over come the bad night you had." Forry said warmly returning the face caress. He felt Uly suddenly go still beneath him. He raised his head and stared into troubled golden eyes.

"I had a nightmare didn't I?" He asked tightly. "I don't remember much about it now."

"Yes you did, my love. Do you want to tell me about it?" Forry asked tentatively.

"No, can't remember much anyway. I think I'd better get a shower and get ready for work." Uly said quietly gently rolling his lover off him. Forry sighed sadly. "I'm sorry your sleep was disturbed" Ulysses said distractedly as he climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

Forry followed him slowly. "It's alright Uly. I was glad to be able to comfort you. When you're ready you need to tell someone. Get it all out or it will continue to haunt you." He said gently.

"I know. That's what my therapist tells me as well. I just didn't want you troubled by my problems." Ulysses wouldn't look at his lover as he started the shower.

Forry walked up to him and wrapped his arms around Uly's waist. "That's what lovers do for each other. We help one another. Listen, offer a shoulder, just be there if that's what's needed. It's not a chore. I love you!" He said seriously.

Ulysses shivered. He'd never had anyone care this much for him or love him as Forry so clearly did. It was a lot to get used to. "Thank you. I appreciate that but it's something I have to do on my own." He said quietly.

Sighing again, Forry released him so Uly could get into the shower. Normally he would share it with him but this morning he sensed his lover needed to be alone. He padded off to the kitchen to start the coffee for them both. Uly hadn't been able to say he loved Forry in words yet but he showed it in other ways. Forry accepted that emotions were hard for Uly to display. This was the first serious test of their relationship and Forry felt he had passed. He knew he'd found his mate for life and would not lose him over something in Uly's past. They would get through this and all the other challenges it took to be together.

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	4. Chapter 4

**A LIFE TORN**

Chapter 4: Dark Kat's Plans

His claws were sunk into the mattress, his face pressed to the sheets, his tail end hiked as high as Forry's body would let it go. He groaned and cried out in ecstacy. He'd thought taking Forry had been great, but being taken was heavenly. Forry had been reluctant, feeling he wasn't ready but he firmly insisted that their relationship would not be one sided. They would share the experiences equally. Right now he was very glad he'd made that decision. His body was on fire and sparks were going off in his head as Forry plowed him harder and harder. He didn't think he could hold out much longer. With a wild scream, he clenched his ass in hot spasms and vaguely heard Forry yell seconds later and a heated stream filled him adding to his delight. Gasping he collapsed like a limp doll to the bed with Forry's warm weight slumped over him. Oh yes, life was good.

Except for that one night, Feral had no more nightmares. He credited that with nights spent in Forry's warm and safe arms. He never dreamed he could be so happy. At work the omegas still tried to trash the city at least once a month but his personal life was so comfortable and warm that the stresses at work were bearable as long as he had Forry. It had been a few months since the last nightmare had occurred. His therapy visits were now only twice a month though Katrina said until he fully came to terms with what happened it would still haunt him.

He and Forry had moved into a new apartment together. It was an interesting experience buying things for the apartment with someone else and sharing space. It took a little getting used to having someone there all the time but he found it more preferable to the intense loneliness he had lived with most of his adult life.

Everything wasn't completely perfect obviously. He still had problems. Showing emotions other than anger took a lot of effort and rape cases still made him ill. As yet, he hadn't come completely to terms with his attempts at suicide and the rescue by the SWAT Kats. He avoided speaking to them as much as possible. He didn't know if it was shame or anger that kept him from being able to interact with them. He was also uneasy in Ms. Briggs' presence as well. It hurt her to sense him flinching from her and there didn't seem to be anything he could do about it.

On the work front, there had been no more incidents like the one in the subway tunnel. Felina had not been able to determine who the perpetrator was. It hadn't been a crime of passion. All those who knew the unfortunate young kat had been cleared. Everything seem to point to a cold blooded rape and kill. It left them both cold, afraid that this was one of many. That others hadn't been found didn't mean there weren't more out there. They just hadn't been found yet. It appeared the killer hid his kills and wasn't interested in publicity which made this type of kill that much worse since there was no telling how many of the missing were his victims.

Felina found that on any given day at least five kats went missing of those at least three would be found and the last two were never heard from again. It was very frustrating. There matters lay as the weather turned warm again with summer approaching. Then the bodies began to appear.

The second one appeared as Burke and Murray were cleaning up a pile of wrecks left behind in an altercation with the Pastmaster and his dinosaurs. As they were loading the smashed cars into their rig, Murray recoiled from the sour/sweet smell emanating from a van he was readying for the crane. Calling his brother over the two cautiously pried the back doors open and nearly threw up at the sight of a decayed corpse within. Moving away quickly they called the enforcers.

Felina sighed as she oversaw the crime scene. There wasn't much of the body left and only a forensic pathologist would be able to determine what sex it was and how the poor kat had died. At this moment it was just a body. They would have to wait to see if there had been a crime or not.

When she received the report a week later, it sent a shiver down her spine. The victim was male, there were signs it had been raped and tortured before the body had been dumped. Everything the same as victim one. They had a serial killer on the loose and he or she had been doing this for some four months, at least by the age of this last body. She didn't want to contemplate the chances of finding an even older corpse. She began the tedious business of contacting next of kin and investigating the kat's life.

The bodies were being uncovered more frequently due to the warmer temperatures and odor of rotting corpses rising in the air. There was no rhythm or reason to their locations. Nothing to tie them together except for the manner of their deaths. Omega attacks were bad enough for the population but the presence of a serial killer had them terrified because it was more personal. The Mayor's officer was being inundated with demands to find the killer and the Mayor was leaning on Feral for results. Knowing his niece was doing her best he did not climb all over her with constant demands on her progress. The number of bodies had reached ten when Dark Kat made his move.

It was a warm, sultry evening, as Feral left Enforcer Headquarters and headed home. Within a mile of his apartment he was waylaid. A foursome of muscle cars had hemmed his hummer in at an intersection. They proceeded to keep him in a box and pushed him into a dead-end alley. He had summoned assistance but before they could reach him, his attackers had forced him to stop, surrounded his hummer and yanked him out. The sound of a helicopter was heard and soon a winch was lowered. Feral was stuffed into a heavy bag, hooked to the winch and hauled up to the waiting copter. When the enforcers reached the commander's vehicle, all sign of the kidnappers were gone.

_Far side of town, industrial area..._

Feral was hauled like a sack of potatoes out of the chopper and into a building then dropped to the floor somewhere. The bag was pulled off him and he was yanked to his feet. He was briskly frisked and disarmed. Surrounding him were ninjas and walking through the door was Dark Kat and another kat in a lab coat.

"Welcome to my hideout, Commander." Dark Kat said, a hideous parody of a smile on his face.

Feral shuddered and looked around. The room he was in had no windows and was bare except for a medical bed in the middle of the floor with restraints. "What do you want with me?" He asked gruffly.

"Why, you are an important piece to my plan to take over the government of this city. Once I'm finished with you, I'll have the perfect spy who obeys my every command helping me take the city from within. They will never know their totally trustworthy leader of the military will be under my command." Dark Kat said smugly. He pointed to the lab coated kat. "Meet the one who will be responsible for your transformationDr. Lynkill has been experimenting with a new drug that allows a kat to retain their intelligence but subverts their loyalties to the one they have been conditioned to accept as their dominant. It's a combination of mind altering drugs with sex that causes the kat to be totally under the power of the one who has sexually dominated them. It's taken months of experimentation to get the right levels of drug and sex to work but we've been successful at last and we are now ready for you." His smile dark and evil.

Feral felt sheer terror grip him. He blindly struck out and a scream exploded from him. The ninjas restrained him, stripped him to his t-shirt and pants and forced his unwilling body to the bed and strapped him down. He screamed and tried to break his straps in his wild panic to get free. His head was suddenly rocked by a sharp blow against his face. He gasped and stared in shock as Dark Kat withdrew his paw.

"This isn't like you Commander. I expected resistance but not sheer terror. It seems something has happened to you since our last encounter. No matter, the drug will calm you. It will take a few days to be at the level it needs to be before the next step. So we'll get started now. Dr. Lynkill if you will please give the injection." Dark Kat ordered as he stepped back.

The doctor approached Feral with a hypodermic needle. Feral's eyes widened and fear clawed his insides. He suddenly remembered he was already on a drug. He really didn't want Dark crud to know but it might make them stop what they intended to do. It was the only chance he had. He prayed his enforcers would find him soon.

"Wait! I'm already taking a drug." He panted shakily.

The doctor halted in consternation. "What drug are you taking?" He hissed in annoyance.

"I...I'm on hydroxyzine." Feral managed to squeeze out.

"Dammit!" The doctor swore and turned to Dark Kat. "We can't give him anything right now till that antidepressant is out of his system." He snarled angrily.

"Why? How long do we have to wait?" Dark Kat demanded angry as well.

"At least four to five days. My drug would act unfavorably with the drug he's on. It would cause my drug to be altered and fail." The doctor explained.

"We have only his word that he's on this drug. I never heard the great Commander Feral needing an antidepressant. He could be lying." Dark Kat snapped.

"That's easy enough to check. I'll take a blood sample and find out. I'll know in about thirty minutes." The doctor said. "I'll go get what I need to draw blood." He left the room.

Dark Kat moved back to the bed and leaned over the Commander. His fury plain on his alien face. "It seems you have a temporary reprieve Commander. But not to worry, no one will find you here and we will begin the 'treatment' soon never fear. Until then you will be treated gently because I wouldn't want you to be damaged until I'm ready to return you as my spy." With that final pronouncement, the powerful creature turned and left the room followed by his ninjas. He was left alone. A few minutes later the doctor returned with blood draw equipment. He took what he needed and left. Feral could feel his heart hammering in his ears, his stomach was clenched tight and the terror he felt was too much like that horrible moment when he was sixteen.

'Please someone find me!" He prayed fervently. 'Even if it's the SWAT Kats, please get me out of here.' He closed his eyes tight and tried to keep the tears of despair from falling.

_Elsewhere in the hideaway, sometime later... _

Dr. Lnykill strode into the office space Dark Kat was using. "It's positive. He is on a antidepressant and by the looks of the amount, he's been using it for some time." He said annoyed his project was now on hold. "It will be at least five days before we dare try our drug. I'll have to recheck his blood then to see how much of the hydroxyzine is still in his system." He said in disgust.

Dark Kat slammed his desk angrily, then sighed. "Well, we wait. He's not going anywhere."

That night the nightmares returned. He screamed and thrashed around on the bed. The guards ran in and were unable to quiet the terrified kat and had to get the doctor. Taking one look in disgust the doctor gave Feral a sedative which knocked him out. The next day he was released from his bed, a kitty box was provided and a meal. He was hung over from the sedative and depressed as the antidepressant left his system. He had no appetite and wandered the room, pacing aimlessly. That night the air was again filled with screams, returning yet again and administering another sedative, the doctor studied his subject a moment in frowning dismay.

The third day of his imprisonment, Feral looked horrible. The guards were concerned enough to risk going to their boss. Meanwhile, Dr. Lynkill came to check on his patient. What he saw made him snarl in fury. Leaving the prisoner's room he stormed off to see Dark Kat.

In Dark Kat's office one of his ninja's was giving his boss some unpleasant news. "Sir, Commander Feral is not looking good. He's had screaming nightmares for the last two nights bad enough to require the doctor to trank him, his appetite is nonexistent, and he has a nearly catatonic look in his eyes."

Before Dark Kat could react to this, Dr. Lynkill stormed in. "Your Commander is unfit for your plans. You will have to get another. I've seen his type of medical condition before and it explains the drug he was taking. That kat has been sexually abused sometime in his past. There is no way you can sexually dominate someone who has been abused it will only drive the patient into a psychotic episode from which he probably will never recover making him useless as the spy you want."

Dark Kat lunged to his feet and swore in fury. The doctor just stood quietly fuming. He'd seen the big kat's fits of temper before. Finally calming somewhat, Dark Kat snarled, "Fine, get rid of him the same way as the others. This means a significant delay in my plans and a new target."

His ninja ran off to do his bidding on the disposal of their prisoner. Feral was quickly bundled up and removed from the hideout. They packed the kat into a van and drove some time until they reached a secluded area under the freeway bridges that intersected the city. Hauling him out they proceeded to beat him, he was soo depressed and doped to react much until one of them attempted to strip his pants off to rape him. His terror surged up overtaking his mind and turning him into a berserker. Ripping and slashing with his claws and using his larger size he beat and nearly killed his tormentors. When his enemies were strewn on the ground around him he staggered off, his eyes wild with fear and nearly psychotic fury.

His wild appearance was reported by passing drivers who had spotted the kat wandering near the freeway shoulder. The enforcers immediately caught up with the kat and were shocked to see their Commander and the state he was in. Their attempt to try and help him was met with fangs and claws. Not wanting to upset him further and unable to touch him, they stayed close as Feral tried to escape them. A call went out to Lt. Feral. She flew her chopper to the site. At the same time another kat was rushing to the scene.

Forry had been beside himself with fear and worry for his kidnaped mate. He had taken to listening in on police calls to hear any news about his lover. He heard the call about Feral being found but that he was ill and that no one could get near him and that Lt. Feral had been summoned. As he raced to the location, on the radio he heard Felina call in that she was on her way. By the noises he surmised she was in her chopper. His heart in his throat, he pushed his car past the speed limit and prayed no police stopped him before he reached Ulysses.

Felina spotted her uncle staggering away from the enforcer cruisers carefully following him. They kept a small distance to try and ease the Commander's fear but close enough not to lose him. She landed her copter in a nearby field and got close to her uncle to speak but not touch. She was frightened of the sheer terror and wild look in her uncle's face and began to wonder if she should have Dr. Woodard be brought here to deal with this. She tried to get him to hear her but he never responded. As she continued to stay close and follow him she heard someone yelling. She looked behind her and saw Forry, her uncle's lover, running past the nearest cruiser and trying to catch up to her and her uncle. She looked back at her uncle and saw him slow and look around him wildly.

Forry finally caught up to Felina then passed her and moved to Ulysses. He didn't try to grab his mate but he did get real close and called his name. "Ulysses its me, Forry. It's alright love. Let me help you." He said trying to keep his winded voice warm and coaxing.

Feral had stopped completely and stared at Forry. For a moment it didn't seem he was seeing his lover at all then his face crumbled and he reached anxiously for his mate with tears starting to stream down his face. Relieved, Forry pulled the traumatized kat into his arms. Feral's legs gave out and he brought both of them down to the ground. Not letting go of his mate, Forry hugged the big kat tighter to him as Feral sobbed in emotional meltdown.

The SWAT Kats had heard the commotion on their radio during their search for the Commander. Calico Briggs had heard about it on the news station and was headed to the scene. Soon the two parties arrived with the SWAT Kats landing near Felina's chopper and Briggs parking behind Forry's car and the enforcer cruisers. She joined up with the SWAT Kats as they moved toward the three figures on the roadway just ahead of them.

Stopping beside Felina, the four stood still watching Forry and Feral. "Any word as to where he came from?" Razor asked.

"No. He was just found wandering down the freeway. He wouldn't let anyone near until Forry arrived and he responded to him. My uncle looked totally out of his mind." Felina said tightly, still upset.

At that moment an enforcer rushed up to Felina. "Lt. we found some kats dressed as ninjas near a van under the freeway underpass. They'd been beaten and clawed badly but there were signs they had a prisoner and he turned on them. It's possible that is where Commander Feral came from." The officer said quickly.

"Ninjas?!! That sounds like we have Dark Kat involved." T-Bone said sharply. "Wish we could get Feral to talk to us. If Dark Kat is around we need to know about it quickly." He said urgently looking at the still upset Commander.

Forry rubbed his mates back and rocked him. He'd heard the SWAT Kat and realized if they were to catch the ones involved they needed to know what Feral knew. "Uly, honey can you talk to me. Love, please we need to know where you were!"

Feral shuddered, but answered in a choked voice, his face buried in his mate's neck. "I...I don't remember. They...were going to rape me. They started beating on me but...one of them started to remove my pants...I went crazy...don't remember what happened next." He panted and shivered.

"I'm so sorry love. But where were you before that? What happened when you were kidnaped?" Forry asked coaxingly. He signaled the others to come closer so they could hear better. They moved up but stayed out of Feral's line of sight.

"I'm soo tired." Feral moaned slumping deeper into his mate's embrace. "Dark Kat has plans." He finally managed though he was fast sliding away from consciousness. Worried, Uly would pass out completely, Forry had to shake him a little and help him sit up more. It broke his heart to see the trauma written on his love's face.

"Come on love, please you need to tell us what happen. You don't want Dark Kat to get away with this." He pressed feeling like a heel for pushing his mate.

Trying to shake himself more aware, Feral focused on his mate's face as he spoke, "He's experimented on others to develop a drug that makes a person pliant and using sex to make them his spy within the city government. That's where all the bodies came from. They are failed experiments. But he's perfected it and was going to use it on me but I was already on a drug so they were waiting for it to leave my system. Without the drug and without you the nightmares came. It overwhelmed me. Apparently I was damaged goods and Dark Kat's drug would not work on me so they were getting rid of me the same way they did the others. Don't know where I was. Some kind of big place in a warehouse district is all I was able to guess at. Was kept from seeing my location. Sorry." He sighed falling into unconsciousness at last.


	5. Chapter 5

**A LIFE TORN**

Chapter 5: The Hunt for Dark Kat and A Wound is Healed

The small group looked down at the now completely inert Commander. Forry hugged the heavy body to his chest and stared up at the watching faces.

"I hope that's enough. I want to take him home but I know he needs to be seen by a doctor. May I stay with him, please?" Forry asked softly.

"Of course, you can. I'll ensure the doctors keep you near at all times while he's seen. CSI will have to check him thoroughly for any clues that might help us locate Dark Kat." Felina said gently. Forry nodded his understanding.

"We can help transport him, Lieutenant. It will save time, rather than wait for an ambulance to get through that." T-Bone volunteered as he pointed to the snarled traffic blocking any avenue but the air from the site.

"Thank you, T-Bone. I guess that would be the best way." Felina sighed in agreement. "We need a stretcher though."

"No problem. We have one on the jet. I'll go get it." Razor said and ran to the Turbokat.

"Damn, Dark Kat. The Commander was just getting back to normal and now this happens." Callie said angrily.

"Well, I least we know who the serial killer is. Now all we have to do is find the bastard before he takes off. It won't be long before he hears my uncle has escaped." Felina said bitterly.

"Well knowing its Dark Kat and not some mystery kat will certainly make the Mayor happier and and silence the katizens that have been howling for justice. As soon as you catch that creep, let me know so I can get a press release out immediately." Callie said. Felina nodded as she watched Razor return with a stretcher.

Felina signaled for help from her enforcers. Soon there were two enforcers and the two SWAT Kats gently lifting the Commander and placing him on the stretcher then hiking him down to the Turbokat. On the way, Razor made a suggestion.

"Lt.Feral, it will take time to process the evidence on the Commander, so while you are getting that done, T-Bone and I can check out the warehouse areas with our X-ray device and see if we can spot Dark Kat before he disappears."

"You would have to stay high enough so you don't spook him before you locate him but it sounds like our only shot to catch the creep." Felina agreed. "We're going to need the evidence to prosecute him anyway so I'll follow this part up. Let me know when you've spotted him though. I want in on his capture, understand?" She told them firmly as they reached the jet and gently loaded her uncle.

"You got it, Lieutenant. We'll give you a shout as soon as we find him." T-Bone promised.

In a repeat of months earlier, the SWAT Kats transported a traumatized Commander to Megakat General. Dr. Woodard had been alerted and was waiting to receive him. As soon as they had discharged their errand of mercy, the SWAT Kats headed for the warehouse district.

_Psychiatric Ward, Megakat General..._

"So you are Ulysses' lover?" Dr. Woodard asked as he got his patient situated into a private room.

"Yes, doctor. May I stay with him, please. He responds to me and has managed not to retreat into his mind. He only passed out from exhaustion." Forry told him.

"Yes, you may stay. I'm pleased to meet you. I heard of you, of course, through Ulysses' therapist. You've been very good for him and I am glad to hear he responds well to you even in a crisis. I want to see him interact with you and it will help him recover sooner without the use of too many drugs." Dr. Woodard said quietly.

"As to that, doctor, he's been without his medication for about three days. From what he said they only used a sedative on him when the nightmares annoyed them." Forry said angrily.

"Hmm, I'm glad to know that. We'll give him a dose now, but it will be a few days before the drug will relieve his symptoms appreciably." Dr. Woodard said as he made a note in Feral's chart. "You go ahead and have a seat near him. Here's a controller to watch the TV. It may be a few hours before he regains consciousness again. I will see you both then." Dr. Woodard smiled and left the pair.

Sighing tirededly, Forry moved the chair closer to the bed and took one of Uly's paws into his while he flicked on the TV.

_Warehouse District... _

"Sir, Commander Feral has escaped and injured the ninjas sent to dispose of him. The enforcers have them in custody and Feral is in the hospital." A ninja soldier notified Dark Kat an hour after the incident at the freeway.

Roaring in fury, Dark Kat ordered an immediate evacuation of his hideaway. He made sure Dr. Lynkill had his formula with him when they packed up and began their escape.

Meanwhile, overhead the Turbokat had been conducting a slow grid pattern covering the entire warehouse district. As they were reaching the end of the north section, Razor spotted the ninjas loading a submarine-like vehicle parked at a dock near a large warehouse dealing with pharmaceuticals.

"We've got them T-Bone and they are running like rats. Time to notify the Lt." Razor shouted to his partner as he quickly switched radio frequencies and called Felina. "Hold our position here buddy." Razor warned.

"Roger, but only until either the enforcers get here or they start to leave." T-Bone acknowledged. "We're not about to let these creeps get away." Razor grunted an agreement as he reached the Lt. and gave her the location of the criminals.

They held their positions nervously watching Dark Kat get everything loaded. Checking with Felina they learn she is on her way but still some fifteen minutes out. Telling her Dark Kat was leaving they go down to stop him. Razor fires some of his various missiles to see what kind of defenses Dark Kat possessed.

The sub-like vehicle had a shield like the one on his fear ship. Using a more improved Mega volt missile, Razor shorted out DK's systems. In fury, Dark Kat fired his lasers at the SWAT Kats nearly searing their tail before T-Bone snatched them out of the way. Razor continued to pound the sub as the enforcers finally arrived and added their weapons to the SWAT Kats. The sub was soon crippled. Not taking any chances, Razor fired a drilling missile to make a hole in the hull and followed it up with a gas grenade missile. He wanted to make sure Dark Kat could not set off a bomb as he was prone to do.

The enforcers, with gas masks on, entered the sub and removed the prisoners. For once they succeeded in getting Dark Kat in one piece. They were hauled away to the jail. Felina was well pleased with the joint mission and gave the SWAT Kats the high sign of victory. They waggled their wings at her and took off for home.

_A week later..._

Forry stood by his mate's side as he was handed his release papers and listened to the doctor's instructions. Ulysses had recovered fairly well, though the nightmares still haunted him. His medication was increased a little which didn't please him at all. He now had to see his therapist twice a week again. Uly was upset that his progress of the last few months had been completely set back because of Dark Kat. But Forry knew that Dark Kat had only exposed Uly's still unhealed psyche. As long as he refused to release the memories of that dark time it would continue to undermine any effort he made to get better.

As they walked out of the hospital and toward Forry's car, he promised himself that he would do all he could to help Uly release those memories but first he needed to see Uly's therapist and determine what was safe for him to do.

Three days later he went to see Katrina. He was nervous doing this behind Uly's back but he was determined to help his mate.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance at last Forry." Katrina smiled warmly and shook his paw. She gestured to him to take a seat on the couch where she joined him.

"I'm glad to meet you too. I can see how much you help Uly by how he behaves with me. But now I need to talk to you about what I can do to help Uly release this destructive memory that hurts him so badly." Forry got to the point of his visit quickly.

"I can understand how badly you want to help but Forry these things must happen in their own way. They cannot be forced. What you can do for Ulysses is to be there whenever the nightmares strike and offer all the comfort you can. Eventually, he will spill the beans, as it were but it will be on his own terms and his own time. I know this is hard for you watching him suffer but your patience and love will be rewarded." She said seriously.

They talked for a little longer. Forry left feeling a little better but still wished there was more he could do. Sighing unhappily, he returned to work.

It was late August, they had been together more than eight months. Forry wanted to have a picnic together. Something their busy schedules hadn't allowed. Things had been quieter around the city and Forry's caseload had finally lessened a bit. He wanted to spend a little outdoor playtime together so they packed a lunch and a frisbee and made for cliff park over looking the ocean and not frequented by too many kats.

It was a beautiful day and the water in the bay looked like glass. Setting up their blanket and basket under a willow tree, they moved to more open ground to play frisbee. They both turned out to be pretty good and soon they were jumping and laughing. After about an hour of that they went to the blanket to eat their lunch. It was some cold chicken, sodas, chips. Chatting amiably, they finished their lunch and packed their trash away. Uly leaned his back against the tree and Forry moved closer to lay his head on his lover's chest. They sat there staring at the bay quietly, Uly gently caressing Forry's back absently.

Sighing, Forry sat up more and turned to give Ulysses a warm kiss. He returned it happily. They kissed for a while, their paws caressing and groping getting a little more heated as time went on. No one was around as they began to strip off their clothes slowly deepening their kisses. Before long Forry lay beneath Uly, hot and needy. Giving his mate a lustful look he prepared his lover and entered him slowly. They both groaned at the moment of complete union before Uly began a steady rhythm that brought them panting and crying out minutes later. Rolling to the side so he wouldn't flatten his mate, Uly kept his arms wrapped around Forry as they lay side by side kissing and licking each other tenderly.

Forry felt so happy when he was in Uly's arms. "I love you so very much Ulysses." He told his beloved. Ulysses sighed and nuzzled Forry back saying the same with his body that he couldn't say with words.

The sun was going down when they put their clothes back on, gathered their belongings and walked to the car for the quick ride home. Forry decided to make something nice for dinner and had Uly make a salad to go with it. They chatted as they prepared the simple meal and sat down to eat it. Afterwards, Uly helped with the dishes then they went to watch a little TV before bed. Another bout of gentle love play with Forry as lead carried them both off to sleep. It should have been a perfect end to an enjoyable day but the dawn's early light dragged a nasty reminder that things weren't as perfect as they seemed.

His mind jumbled the beautiful day with the one that been soo nice until the moment he'd been dragged into that alley in broad daylight with the sun shining warmly. _'Well lookee here. It's a pretty kitty. Come here kitten we want to play with you' smirked the blond punk he'd seen hanging around the park for the past few days. His three other friends had nasty smiles on their faces and Ulysses could feel his heart in his throat and his mind screaming to run but it was too late. They were much bigger and had him surrounded. 'We'll show you a good time, won't we guys.' the blond punk pulled Uly close as he gestured to his friends to come nearer. He gave Uly an obscene kiss and rubbed his body against him while his buddies pulled his clothes off him. He tried to wriggle free but the blond only held him tighter. He whimpered in fear then screamed when he was suddenly bent over and one of them inserted themselves in his unprepared and virginal channel._

Ulysses was screaming and wildly swinging his arms. He threshed around so much he fell off the bed. His eyes were blind to all but what his inner vision saw as Forry quickly dropped to the floor and wrapped his arms around his mate trying desperately to call him back. He was sweating and trembling, his stomach tight as he finally heard Forry's urgent and desperate pleas.

"Oh love! Are you okay now?" He asked gently, his heart breaking.

He swallowed as he heard the pain in Forry's voice, his anguish for him. Taking his courage in his paws he spoke haltingly, "I...it was sunny...just like our picnic...they were waiting for me. I'd seen them around and didn't like them. I tried to avoid them...but that day I was thinking of the game I was in the next night and didn't see them hiding in the alley until the blond one grabbed me and yanked me into the alley with him...He...wasn't alone...there were three others." He shuddered a moment.

"Uly, it's okay you don't have to..." Forry started to soothe him.

"No...I have to say it or I never will." He stuttered anxiously. Forry nodded and just held him tightly. "The blond said he wanted to show me a good time, then he kissed me. He held me so tightly it hurt. His buddies yanked my pants and shoes off. I tried to get away harder but they were soo much stronger than me...next thing I knew I was being bent over and one of them ...he...Oh god!...he penetrated me...it hurt soo bad I screamed...they slapped me to shut me up but it hurt too bad. Before the next one did it I managed to get away but didn't get far before they tackled me and slammed me against a wall. I was stunned when the next one took me. I was slammed around a lot over the next thirty minutes until they were all finished. Then they dropped me to the ground laughing as they fixed their clothes and walked away. I lay there bleeding and in pain for I don't remember how long but it was dark when I finally was able to pull my clothes back on and drag myself home. My parents rushed me to the hospital and I pleaded with the doctor to not tell my parents about the rape. He didn't like it but repaired my rectum and gave me cream to ease it while it healed." He stopped suddenly and heaved for air as if he had run a marathon. Forry continued to hold him while his emotions railed at the cruelty of those punks. He wished they were still around so he could smash their faces in. For a moment he was stunned at the violence in him but he'd never been so in love with someone before and the thought of what Uly had suffered had touched a savage protectiveness within him.

"Alright love, now that that is out you should finally have some peace. It will still be there, nothing can take it away but now it won't have so much power over you. How about a nice hot shower then some tea? I'm going to call us in sick for the day and we'll just rest." Forry said firmly.

"No, I need to go in. I can't hide away here." Ulysses said still somewhat shaky and cold inside.

"No you are not!" Forry said sharply causing Uly to stare at him in surprise. "You give everything to this city. You ask nothing in return. You are going to stay home and recover your equilibrium and feel much better tomorrow and stop feeling guilty about taking much needed time for yourself. No argument! I think it would be best if you saw Katrina later today too. I'll call and see if she can get you in. Now let's shower." Forry pushed his shocked mate to the bathroom.

"Gee Forry I never saw this side of you before." Ulysses said in the shower while Forry scrubbed his back with soap.

"I'm just feeling particularly protective of you my love. That's all." Forry said uncomfortable about his behavior.

"Hmm. Actually I like how you take charge. It's exciting." Ulysses murmured as he turned and deposited a passionate kiss on his mate. He rubbed soap into Forry's fur going from his chest to between his legs and fondling his genitals that were taking an interest in his caresses. Washing away the nightmare he buried himself in this kat's love for him as he brought them both to shuddering climaxes. Panting to get his breath back, he nuzzled Forry's face and said softly, "I love you." Forry started and tears sprang to his eyes as he suddenly hugged his lover tight. "Oh Uly, I've wanted to hear that for so long."

"I know and I'll try to say it more often, my love." Ulysses said tenderly as they rinsed off and got out of the shower to dry.

The next day was better and he felt more free than he'd had been for so long. Talking with Katrina had reduced the rest of the incident into a bearable memory. Much calmer he was able to speak to Ms. Briggs easily when they discussed the security for a special showing of antique jewelry touring the city. Callie had smiled warmly at him, her relief at his obvious return to health plain in her brilliant green eyes.

Later that week, an attack by Viper was ended quickly and before the SWAT Kats could leave they were pleasantly surprised when Feral took them aside and thanked them for their discretion when they saved his life and kept his secret. He told them he was much better and warned them to watch crossing over the line or he'd have to arrest them. They smiled at the tongue in cheek, threat and left happy their antagonist was truly recovered and enjoying life again.

For their first anniversary, Ulysses had special jeweled collars made. Taking Forry out to dinner at a very exclusive restaurant, he gave him a beautiful single red rose. When they got home he presented his gift.

"Oh my god! Uly, it's beautiful! Is this what I think it is?" Forry asked his voice tight with emotion.

"Yes, I want you as my life mate and this collar and the one matching it is a declaration of my love for you and my wish for us to share our lives forever." Ulysses said nervously.

"Oh love, yes! I will life mate with you and share my live with yours forever." Forry trembled as tears of joy fell from his eyes. He took the matching collar and placed it around Uly's throat. Uly did the same for him. His eyes glowing with love, Ulysses Feral kissed his life mate Forry Stanhope. They held each warmly as they made their way to their bedroom and a night of celebration.


End file.
